Ben Bortboy
 thought i looked cute in this, might delete later ;) | |
| No. 28 – Retired | |
|---|---|
| Position: | Running Back |
| Personal information | |
| Born: | October 30, 1996 (aged 72) St. Joseph, Michigan |
| Height: | 6 ft 4 in (1.93 m) |
| Weight: | 245 lb (111 kg) |
| Career information | |
| College: | University of Illinois |
| ISFL Draft: | 2030 / Round: 6 / Pick: 56 |
| DSFL Draft: | 2029 / Round: 4 / Pick: 20 |
| Career history | |
| Roster status: | Active |
Ben “Ben”Ben”Ben Bortboy” Bortboy” Bortboy” Bortboy (born January 30, 1996) was an American football running back for the Palm Beach Solar Bears of the Developmental Simulation Football League (DSFL). He played college football for University of Illinois (Illinois) .
Early years
Ben Bortboy was born in St. Joseph, Michigan to Beth and Bob Bortboy. Ben was never interested in sports, and spent most of his childhood learning how to read. His parents both worked 7 days a week, so Ben spent most of his childhood on his own. Every friend he made was immediately turned away because of his horrible jokes. He started school when he was 10, and just coasted from there. He excelled at art, gym, music, and lunch. His parents did not have anything to say about their son's upbringing, except for "wait, we have a son?". Ben started high school early, at age 12, because the schooling system assumed that the quicker he left, the less that anybody would have to deal with him.
College career
Ben Bortboy got accepted into the University of Illinois because the application reviewers thought that his name was funny. Somebody made a bet that Ben couldn't make it onto the football team, but Ben made it on as a running back when the coach realized that Illinois has absolutely no football program and they needed some extra depth. Ben made a cool 15 bucks that day. He didn't understand the rules of football and still doesn't. He was a 4th string back, and totalled 14 yards and a touchdown in his college career. That one touchdown was when Illinois was trailing to Ohio State by 5 scores and the Illini found themselves on the opponent's half yard line in garbage time. The coach told Ben to take the ball and run forward. Ben broke 47 bones on this play. Ben was going to get a normal job after he graduated, but failed to realize that he needed to actually attend classes to get a degree. Football was his last resort, and the DSFL let literally anybody in so that's where he went.
| Ht | Wt | 40‑yd dash | 20‑ss | 3‑cone | Vert jump | Broad |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 ft 4 in (1.93 m) |
245 lb (111 kg) |
